


Cliché (ON HOLD)

by bronytalianmaka (orphan_account)



Category: Homestuck
Genre: #NoRagrets, (Really? Not even one letter?), Because of Reasons, Cliche, GUESS WHAT, Hey Angela, Humanstuck, I /DID/ Write this., I like that word, M/M, That's gonna be the title, This is so cliche, Why Did I Write This?, Wow, hurr hurr
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-11-13
Updated: 2014-11-17
Packaged: 2018-02-25 04:37:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,124
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2608745
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/bronytalianmaka
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I met my worst enemy at the library. I hate him so much."</p><p>Those are the sentences Kankri would love to say. But now that he's stuck in detention and the dining hall with him every day, it's more like...</p><p>"I met my worst enemy at the library. He's kind of cute and I can't stop staring at him."</p><p>Damn it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Meet me

**Author's Note:**

  * For [PandaYao77](https://archiveofourown.org/users/PandaYao77/gifts).



> Hey Angela. Remember when I read this to you and you asked, "Did you write this?" and I said "No."? Well guess what?
> 
> I lied.

Kankri was quietly reading by himself in the library. It was a romance novel, one of the many he wished desperately to one day own. He often became extremely engulfed in his reading if the time was right. He was at a suspenseful part in this book, and he was practically teetering on the edge of his seat.

The main protagonist was in quite the predicament. She was about to lose her best friend in the whole world, all the while her very worst enemy starts to develop a crush on her! AND while BOTH the friend and enemy are present, she’ll FINALLY stand up to CONFESS TO THE GUY OF HER DREAMS AND SAY-

Kankri looked up from his book as he was rudely interrupted by the sound of someone shuffling in. He gritted his teeth as he listened to that... _heathen_ scuff his shoes on the clean carpet. Who does this guy think he is? The President? Kankri peered around the bookcases.

He was taller than the librarian, from the looks of it, which meant he was taller than Kankri. His black hair looked like he had showered it in gel, it was slicked back to all hell. He wore a leather jacket and black jeans. In his arms looked like the whole fucking Harry Potter series and then some. Kankri snorted. What a dweeb.

He buried his face back in the book when the dude shuffled past him and sat down in the big recliner across from him. Kankri got a good look at his face when his gaze wandered to the noisy imbecile. He had big eyes, and they were brown, from what Kankri could tell. He had a candy cigarette sticking out of his mouth. He looked like a greaser and _oh dear god_ this guy is still in the 50's in his mind.

The guy (Whom Kankri is nicknaming Greased Lightning, Grease for short) noisily flipped through another Harry Potter book, and every little “FSSSHWIP” of the pages made Kankri want to scream. Then again, he’d get kicked out of the library, a punishment he couldn’t bear to deal with. This place was so quiet, and there was so much information to take in (and more importantly, talk about)! He could relax here, take a load off, grab a good book on social structure, and settle into a comfortable chair, drinking in all the silence. Silence that was being broken by Greased Lightning.

After a few minutes, Grease got up and decided to take a walk through the non-fiction section. Loudly. While _humming._ And this made Kankri so angry, he snapped his book shut. Heads turned from all directions, and he blushed a little bit, hiding his face. Okay, so maybe that wasn’t the best idea. But Kankri was too steamed to care. He stormed over to Grease, and shoved the book back into the shelf from where it was originally.

“ _Excuse me..._ ” He said through his teeth, voice dripping with agitation. “If you don’t mind, some of us are actually trying to read our books in _peace._ ”

“What? Who’s there?” Grease turned around and looked behind him. Directly over Kankri’s head. “Who said that? I know I ain’t crazy, speak up!” Kankri wasn’t sure if he should be offended or ignore the statement completely. He was standing pretty close, now that he thought about it. He’s not _that_ short, is he?

“Down here, sir.” Kankri tapped him on the arm, and stepped back a little bit. When he looked down, the chatterbox actually got to see him a lot closer. Yes, his eyes were definitely brown. And Kankri caught just the faintest whiff of hair gel.

“Kankri? Kankri Vantas?” Grease asked, which confused and somehow angered Kankri even more.

“How do you know who I am? I’ve never seen you around campus before. If it were up to me, I wouldn’t even say you were a student.” Kankri crossed his arms and looked up and down Grease’s profile. Nope. Not student material. Not for Skaia, at least.

Suddenly, the boy’s eyes boggled as he ignored the statement. “Are you serious? Everyone knows who you are! Top speech grade in the whole college they’ve seen for a decade! And you’re just a freshman! That’s pretty impressive. The name’s Cronus. Cronus Ampora. Now, what were you saying about books and peace?”

Kankri grumbled. “Yes, nice to meet you, Cronus. Now, please do take care to keep quiet. This is a library. Not a foot carpet nor a dorm.” He pointed to the sign taped on the bookcase, reading ‘Shhh, we need yout o keep quiet in here! Thanks, Library Staff’ The typo still makes Kankri cringe every time he saw it.

“Ohhh, so that’s what you’re talking about. Listen man, come off it. I’m just trying to read here, just like everyone else. It’s not like I’m shouting at the top of my lungs and singing ‘Oh Susanna’ on the tables.”

“Come off it?” Kankri hissed angrily. “Why should I come off it when you’re the one who had to barge in here, scuffling your shoes, breaking the silence in my library…”

“Woah, woah, woah. Your library? Who said it belonged to you, pal? The library’s for everyone.”

“For everyone who can actually keep quiet and read like a normal human being instead of a heathen who was raised in a barn. Tell me, Mr. Ampora, were you raised in a barn? No? The why don’t you try to read like the rest of us? _Quietly_.” At the last word, Kankri poked his finger into Cronus’s chest, causing him to stumble backwards a bit.

“Hey! Get your grubby paws off of me!” Cronus pushed him back, growing angry now. Kankri fell with an oof.

“Don’t touch me!” Kankri spat back, kicking in one of Cronus’s legs, causing him to fall down next to him. “There, now we’re even. And while we’re at it, why don’t you just leave? And don’t come b-” Kankri was cut off by a stinging pain in his cheek. “Did you just slap me?” He asked, partly shocked and dumbfounded.

“No, you idiot, I kissed your cheek and gave you a lollipop. Scram before I scrape you up too badly. Though, I might go easy on you. After all, a _wittle_ freshman picking a fight with sophomore? Aw, I’m afraid I’ll knock you into the ground with my pinky toe!”

“Is that a challenge? Are you _challenging_ me?”

“I never said that. But if you want a fight I’ll give you one. Won’t be much of one, with a pipsqueak like you.” Kankri could have sworn that he saw the guy’s lips twitch upwards.

“Excuse me?” He snarled. “EXCUSE me?!” Kankri stood halfway up and threw a fist into Cronus’s nose. He hated being called short. He HATED it. He was the shortest in his Kindergarten class, and the shortest in his 12th grade class. And every single one in between. He was sick and fucking tired of hearing ‘Shorty, shorty, Kankri is a shorty!~ Pipsqueak, pipsqueak, Kankri is a pipsqueak!~’

“Ow.” Cronus sniffed and wiped some blood from his nose. “Geez, you sure pack a punch. So much strength in a tiny package.” Kankri snarled again, struggling to keep quiet. Pissed as he is, he just can’t risk his precious library time.

“Don’t. Call. Me. TINY!” Kankri hissed and lunged at him again, but this time his wrists were caught, and he was flipped above Cronus’s head, hurtling into the book case. Books flung off the shelf… and onto an unsuspecting person on the other side. A scream and a thud pierced through the whole library. Cronus jumped and winced, dropping Kankri. Kankri held his head and gulped. They both had a sinking feeling they knew who that was. 

The two stumbled and crawled over each other, trying to get a look through the cracks of the books. None of them were big enough to really see much of anything, though. "Is that the su-?" Kankri began. Cronus interrupted.

"No, no. It couldn't be. He never comes in here..."

"What about the d-"

"Please don't finish that sentence."

"Okay..." Was all that Kankri could manage. His throat ran dry, and for once he was speechless. If it was who he was thinking... Then they were surely dead meat! Roadkill! Food for the birds! Oh, and he would never see his precious library again! And his reputation... ruined! He felt like crying. Screaming. Punching something. Punching some _one._ Cronus sure seemed like a worthy candidate right about now.

They almost anticipated what would come next. Who was it? Who did they crush? A student? A librarian? A... nevermind. What were the concequences? More importantly, how capable is this person of making them happen? “Alright!” The voice came from behind the shelf. The bruised pair jumped.  “Who was fighting in the library? When I get over there, you two are in big trouble!”

The two men confirmed their suspicions and worry. The looked at each other in an emotionally flurry of surprise, anticipation, shock, and feelings Kankri couldn't pin a word down to..

"Are we screwed?" Kankri asked quietly, already knowing the answer.

"Yeah."

"Wasn't that the?"

"Yeah."

"So you mean to tell me we toppled books onto the..."

They looked at each other, gulped, and whispered together.

“The dean.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please fill out this quick form so I get to know exactly how big of a audience I'm dealing with here: http://goo.gl/forms/tVsLhLRok2


	2. Hate me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kankri knows just who to vent to, and suffers through a cleaning job with none other than Grease himself.  
> But is it really that bad?

“All we did was scuff around a little bit! I promise!” Kankri whined as his roommate silently scolded him, spraying peroxide and bandaging up his cuts and bruises. Kankri had refused an ice pack, which was now melting on the window ledge.

“He called me short, and he slapped me. And on top of all that, he suplexed me into a bookcase and we broke Dean V.’s leg… We have to clean the lunch room this whole semester! And we’re banned from the library until we get back from thanksgiving break. How am I supposed to find a quiet place away from the madness and...hormones? Where I can read everything from H.P. Lovecraft, to Veronica Roth, to Gareth Roberts! Where else can I find something like that?” Kankri would often rant to Kurloz like this when he was stressed out or when he had so much in his mind he would explode if he didn’t tell anyone. And he would just nod or huff and sigh with him. A good listener. That’s what Kankri needed.

“Honestly, I’d rather be sitting in Barnes and Noble and reading /something/. Twilight, even! Pichi P- Ow, ow! Easy on the alcohol!” Kankri inhaled through his teeth, hissing as Kurloz dabbed a cotton ball at a cut he got from the corner of the bookcase. “You don’t need to baby me like this you know.” Kurloz shook his head and went back to tending to his roommate.

Kankri sighed and gave up, leaning back in the chair. “I don’t deserve a friend like you. You always listen to me, and… it’s like you’re my older brother.” There was a pause. “Can I ask you something?” Kankri didn’t wait for a nod. “If you had to be trapped with somebody you hate with a passion一Think Strider, Kur一what would you do?” Kurloz thought for a while before he grinned menacingly at Kankri. He shook his head. “While that is tempting, I want to keep my criminal record clean, thank you very much.” They shared a laugh.

“I guess all there is left to do is face my consequences, huh?” Kurloz nodded. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and Kankri got a text.

Text from Kurloz received on Mon, Nov 17

We should get to sleep. Goodnight.

Kankri looked up from his phone to see Kurloz already in his bed, texting Meulin goodnight, probably. He set his phone down on the desk next to his bed and laid down. He usually wouldn’t go to sleep at this hour. Even if he does lie down, he usually plays lumosity or slide until he actually feels tired. But he wanted to get some sleep tonight. After all, tomorrow afternoon was going to be hell.

-6-9-6-9-6-9-6-9-6-9-6-9-6-9-6-9-6-9-6-9-6-9-6-9-6-9-6-9-6-9-6-9-6-9-6-9-6-9-6-9-6-9-6-9-6-9-6-9-6-9-6-9-6-9-6-9-6-9-6-9-6-9-6-9-

Kankri had no time to drop his bag off at his dorm. He rushed his way out of the piano room and up the neverending stairs. He rushed down a few hallways, crossed through the auditorium and almost slammed open the door to the lunch room. His watch beeped. Right on time.

Kankri cringed as he surveyed the room. There was food on the floors. The tables. The dishes were all dirty in the sink. And the smell. He spotted Cronus, sitting in a chair and doing god knows what on his phone. Kankri approached him. “It’s 6:30.”

Cronus didn’t look up from his phone. “And your point is?”

“And my point is, we need to start cleaning.” Kankri put his hands on his hips.

“Nah. Just a few more minutes. I’ve almost got a high score.” Cronus swatted his hand at Kankri.

“No, not just a few more minutes.” Kankri snatched the phone away and shut it off, ignoring the gasp and noise of protest that he earned. “Now.”

“You asshole! I was almost finished with my game!”

“Well, we have a new game to start. And it’s called let’s clean the lunch room. C’mon, go get a mop. I’ll get the sponges.”

“Okay, okay, sheesh.” Cronus grumbled. “You sound like my mother.” He boredly walked around, looking for the mop. When he found it, he grabbed the bucket of water and dragged it to the corner, beginning to mop up all the floor tiles. “Oh, gross, is that macaroni and cheese? Yuck. This sucks.”

“Believe me, er…”

“Cronus.”

“Cronus. This is no carnival ride for me either.”

“Whatever.”

Kankri is a fast cleaner. Whether it be because he’s a bit of a neat freak when it comes to bedrooms and kitchens, or because he just wanted to get out of there ASAP, he was done with the tables in half an hour. He turned around, finding that Cronus wasn’t even halfway done with the floors. He watched him for a while. Well no wonder he’s not done! He’s using it like it’s a pushbroom. Kankri approached him again.

“It’s going to take you forever if you do it like that, you know.” Kankri commented.

“What do you mean?”

“I’m not here to criticize your wonderful mopping capabilities, but a mop is definitely not something you push. Haven’t you ever mopped a floor before?”

Cronus shook his head. “No…”

“Have you ever even /cleaned/ before?” Cronus looked down. Kankri couldn’t believe it. Does this guy have housecleaning or something? Or is his house a mess? Either way he is learning how to mop.

“Oh, give me that. Watch closely.” Kankri took the mop and went around the room, going over and around every tile and removing every bit of food off the floor, only returning to the bucket when the mop went dry. He got carried away, he only meant to do the first section of the lunchroom, but when he finally stopped his work, the whole place was mopped. “...Oops.”

“Wow. Thanks for doing my work for me. Can I leave now?” Cronus snickered.

“We still have the dishes to do, Ampora. And you can do the tables tomorrow.” Kankri threw the mop to Cronus as he grabbed the sponge and bucket of water, stashing them in the closet. “Put this back, please and thank you.” Kankri made his way to the kitchen and waited behind the counter for Cronus.

“Now here’s something I know how to do.” Cronus said as he entered and grabbed a plate and a sponge and dipped the plate in the water, scrubbing off the hardened food. Kankri grabbed a towel and stood by the rack.

“Hand them to me when you’re done. I’ll dry them.” Cronus nodded.

After a while, Kankri was noticing that space was quite cramped. “Move over, will you?” He pushed Cronus to the side a little bit. He was met with another push, causing him to stumble. Oh god, not this again. When Cronus was done scrubbing the last plate clean, he didn’t hand it to him. Kankri pushed his way into his space, and kept his feet planted there. Cronus couldn’t push him away anymore. When Kankri thought he’d finally got the best of him, the plate crashed into the water, showering Kankri with almost all of the soap bubbles resting on the top of the sink.

“CRONUS!” He yelled. It wasn’t water, thank god, but now he was covered in suds, and he most likely looked like the abominable snowman. Cronus turned to face him and exploded in laughter.

“Holy shit!” He heaved. “You look ridiculous!” Kankri’s blood was boiling.

“Aha. Ahaha. Real funny. Let’s see how you like it!” He took a handful of bubbles from his head and shoved them into Cronus’s face. He got a glare that made the whole thing about 200 times better.

“Oh, it’s on!” Cronus took a huge glob and put it on Kankri’s nose. Kankri put some in Cronus’s hair. Cronus tried to get Kankri with a huge blob, but he dodged and ran out of the kitchen. This felt like a game of tag. With an enemy. An enemy who has bubbles. Absolutely terrifying. Kankri screeched and sped away after somebody shoved suds down the collar of his sweater. He dashed for the sink, fuming. He was not going down without a fight.

After one of the largest bubble fights either of them had ever had, they were both tired and soaking wet. All of their ammo had popped, and the dishes were all in the rack. “I have to change. If this sweater shrinks, you’re paying for a new one.” Kankri said, stretching.

Cronus stood from the floor and grabbed his phone, stopping before he put it in his pocket. Oh yeah. Wet. Right. He shook his head. “No promises. But if my phone is shorted out I’m going to kill you. See you tomorrow?”

Kankri nodded. “Tomorrow. But no throwing bubbles, alright?”

“It’s a deal.” And like that, he was gone.

“God, that guy really gets my blood boiling. Look at me, I’m soaked! Porrim is going to murder me if she finds out I got this wet. And I can’t believe he had the nerve!” He laughed, still not convinced that what just happened was real. “The nerve to throw...bubbles, of all things at me! I despise that man.” He was talking to himself again, a common thing he did.

He says that he hated this chore, but something occured to him. That was fun. Regardless of who he was with. Maybe this job won’t be that bad.

**Author's Note:**

> Please fill out this quick form so I get to know exactly how big of a audience I'm dealing with here: http://goo.gl/forms/tVsLhLRok2


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